Why do I have a cat? That’s really not a proper question because nobody has a cat. At least not like you could, for instance, have a cow. Cats have you. Cats have you like you don’t catch a forty pound lake trout. A lake trout comes up from the deep to see if it wants to keep you. This all reminds that once upon a time a gal with a wooden leg had a mountain lion she raised from a kitten and she took it to all the schools to show how gentle a cat can be. We all warned her that one day that cat would start acting like a cat and she would get hurt. And sure enough, a few years ago I was asking around about the dizzy blonde with the wooden leg and her mountain lion, and I got the scoop. Cat attacks woman in her jeep read the headline. You know, I just sum it all up as bad choice in pets. People like me need pets like a fish. You can’t kick a fish or even yell at it when it does something you don’t like. You can’t stroke it’s fur the wrong direction and you certainly don’t need to clip their nails as often as a cat. If there’s one drawback to a fish they make lousy mousers. Unless you have one of those tame tiger muskies and they’ll eat small poodles given the opportunity. But then again, a fish without a bicycle is like a man without religion and I’ve seen plenty of both out here in the west. I guess that’s why I stockpile bicycles and keep a cat around for just in case.